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Child Inclusive Mediation
Giving Children a Voice When Parents Separate

Our mediators are Child Inclusive Accredited.
Listening to what children say and building their trust, confidentially. 

​When parents separate, the decisions that matter most to children, such as where they live, how they spend their time and how they stay close to both parents, are usually made without them. Parents often do this to protect their children, but children can feel shut out of something that changes their whole world.

Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) offers another way. It gives children the chance to be heard, in a safe and supported setting, while the decisions remain with their parents.

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​​How does it work?

1. Parents begin mediation first. Both parents usually attend initial mediation sessions, where the mediator assesses whether involving the child is appropriate and helpful.

2. Both parents agree. CIM generally goes ahead only when both parents consent, and when the child wants to take part. No child should ever be pressured to speak.

3. The child meets a Child Inclusive Mediator. This is a relaxed, age-appropriate conversation, usually lasting under an hour. The mediator explains what will and won't stay private, and the child decides what, if anything, they would like shared.

4. Feedback to parents. The mediator then shares the child's chosen messages with the parents in a joint session, helping them reflect on what they've heard and consider it as they make their plans.

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Why it can make a difference

  • Children feel heard. Being listened to can reduce feelings of helplessness and confusion, and can help children cope better with change.

  • Parents gain insight. Hearing directly what their child is thinking can be a powerful, sometimes surprising, reminder of what matters most.

  • Better, more lasting agreements. Arrangements that reflect a child's real experience are often more workable and less likely to break down.

  • Less conflict. Keeping the focus on the child's needs can help parents move away from disagreement and towards cooperation.

  • Children aren't put in the middle. The mediator acts as a neutral channel, so children don't have to carry messages or take sides.

Is it right for every family?

Not always. CIM may not be suitable if there are safeguarding concerns, if a child is very young, if a child doesn't want to take part, or if involving them could cause distress. Your mediator will talk through these questions with you and will only recommend CIM when it is in your child's interests. Children are never required to take part, and some families find other approaches work better

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